On tour with Maximilian Tanner
We’ve done many, many reviews of gigs. It’s our bread and butter. But what is it like on the other side of the mic? What is it actually like going on tour, travelling from city to city, country to country? Well, one of our very good friends, Maximilian Tanner, has been on tour supporting John Maus, and we were delighted when he agreed to do a tour diary for us. So, here it is!
Considering John had been my top artist on that Spotify Wrapped for 5 or 6 years now, and owning most of his albums on LP, with a poster of his on my wall, it’s safe to say it was a full dream come true for me to have been invited on tour with him, after he popped up into my DMs to ask me.
Even now, I can’t believe I’d been given the opportunity to do this. I had no merch, so eagerly printed my own CDs, not really knowing if anything would sell. I guess I was wrong though!
I started this solo synthpop journey as a way to just express how I was feeling, and my experiences with loss, sudden change, and all the feelings it brought me. Also to explore the sounds I’d always felt drawn to and the music I feel naturally driven to create.
This tour diary goes deep into everything I experienced and went through, the highest heights of my life and the absolute scariest lows of solo touring. What a beautiful memory it was, and shall forever remain, and what a true, genuine human being John Maus is. I will never forget how beautiful it was playing to thousands of people at 12 shows across the continent during the harsh approach of the European winter.
LISBON
A city I’d never been to, I arrived a day early to see the city. At 4:30am I got to Stansted, no problems at security, despite my music equipment probably looking very sketchy on the security computer (I have a vocal fx pedal, slightly spaceship looking). A few security officers asked me out of curiosity what it was.
As soon as I arrived at my hotel, it began pouring with rain. Hunger hit, I wanted a pastel de nata. I ended up buying 4, and eating 3 of them in the space of an hour. I aimlessly strolled around for a few hours and I thought I’d check out ‘Pink Street’, a popular tourist attraction with pretty buildings, cool bars, and apparently ‘the prettiest street in Lisbon’. I arrived and begged to differ; walking to my hotel there were prettier streets.
Either way, I noticed my restaurant of choice didn’t accept card payments, so I went to a nearby ATM and that’s when things went wrong.
“Hey, lovely suit man, where are you from?”
A local fella in a suit and flat cap comes beside me at the ATM. The man then continues to ask where I’m from and more about my trip, I politely engaged in conversation. Then I hear him whistle and 3 other men, also in suits, appear, all nervously surrounding this one fella, clearly the ringleader, who then peered over at the ATM screen and said, “You know 40 euros isn’t enough for me to go to prison”.
Anyway, without being long-winded, he threatened me with a knife and demanded I get 190 euros out for him or he’ll cut me!
Without hesitation I did it. I don’t know any martial arts, and I’m not confrontational at all; in fact, I get strangely overwhelmed in stressful situations and shake and get a lump in my throat and a cloud in my brain. He then got more angry, and his friends reminded me, “Do as he says, my boss is very aggressive”. I found myself surrounded by 4 tall men in long black suits and caps.
I quickly had a moment of fearlessness and grabbed my card out of the machine and ran for my life. There’s no way they were going to take even more, and I doubt they’d have stabbed me in a busy street in the late afternoon! I ran hard and got away, not looking back.
€190 poorer.
Anyway, the night was kind of sketchy. I felt safe in my hotel but didn’t contact the police because I was so paranoid they all work together and they’d disclose my location. Silly of me, I know, but hopefully people can understand.
It was show day, a new day and the first of many with John. Capitólio, an amazing venue, an old cinema, huge. The room was full, one of the biggest crowds I’d ever played to. I went out on stage; earlier the sound man had complimented my music, said how much he liked it, this set me up nicely. The crowd were loud with cheering and praise and I remember thinking, ‘I don’t know why? They didn’t know me’. This feeling subsided when, afterwards, John congratulated my show and said it sounded great. A pretty wholesome moment. I noticed a queue at my section of the merchandise table. John and I would share a space to sell merch, and he and Kika (John’s wife) would always make space for my stuff.
Man, people were literally thanking me for my music and telling me what an experience it was to see me play. I couldn’t quite believe it really. Having written these songs in solitude and in a time of pain or sadness. Having been so nervous, I only really wrote this music as my own outlet; of course I wanted people to like it, but that was secondary to me. After selling and signing a load of CDs and T-shirts and a few Polaroids, a couple approached me from the UK, explaining how they’d come to Lisbon specifically to watch me and John play together, being fans of both of us; what a beautiful thing to hear, I was absolutely honoured.
I spoke to people of a similar age who were filmmakers, AI start-up geniuses, and people who merely wanted to say “thank you” for the performance. After catching up with John and spending a while talking all kinds of topics, I went back to my hotel so happy and excited for what’s to come. Portugal was amazing, with even more amazing passionate lovers of my music. It was lovely to meet so many of you. I went back to my hotel, got into bed and ate the 4th and final pastel de nata and had a shower.
ZÜRICH
I arrived in Zürich. Flying over the Alps felt pretty otherworldly, like landing on a snow-covered planet. The landing was choppy and the turbulence made for Final-Destination-airplane-esque thoughts. Anyway, we landed safe and sound. I got to my hotel, and paid the equivalent of 20 pounds for a salmon bagel. Man, is it expensive there. From there on in, I stuck to cheap corner shop sandwiches, and waited for my buyout to get myself something with more substance.
The venue was incredible, Plaza Klub, with disco balls and bright coloured lights all over the ceiling. It looked incredible, like a spaceship, and I was excited. I hung with John, spoke about my love for cathedrals and old buildings, and John & Kika told me about how they came to be together, and their devotion to each other, and their journey to where they are today. I spoke about my envy in people who can believe in God, when it all feels so unbelievable to me. They spoke about it very beautifully and it never once felt ‘preachy’. John explained how he used to think it was all ‘bullshit’. I guess that’s where I am, but with a fascination for religious buildings, and some stories I find quite interesting too.
Then John and Kika handed me the funds I had robbed from me the previous day. Something so selfless of them and genuinely so damn caring and generous. Thank you to them for that moment, it meant a lot and I could tell I was with a team that were looking out for me.
I think the transcendental experience I get from music leaves me feeling rather ‘in tune’ with something deeper; a god? I don’t think so, but it sparks a momentary deeper connection to a shared consciousness when the whole crowd are feeling it too, all on the same level.
The show was amazing, people were into it! It’s funny.
By the end of the show, after John had played, we both hit the merchandise stand. After every single show John goes and meets his fans, something I’ve never seen before, with such gratitude and love for his fans, maybe it’s his way of giving something back.
At the end of the night, I was left with 10 CDs. I had to turn people away, as I needed some to sell in Belgium. After having left the UK with 50, thinking they’d pretty much last me the whole time, I was basically sold out by show two, and the imposter syndrome began to slowly fade away as John and Kika praised my performance and thanked me for it.
Thank you Zürich, for supporting me and talking to me after the show. Some real genuine people, with amazing stories that I’m sure I’ll see again.
ANTWERP
I arrived in Antwerp and spent the day visiting the cathedral, old castles, and small ancient coffee shops. Belgium really is the pinnacle of that old 15th/16th century architecture; even the Primark had gargoyle-looking statues watching down upon shoppers from its old still-standing buildings. A beautiful day strolling around castles and cathedrals awaiting my soundcheck.
I then went to the venue. This was THE BEST in-house catering I have ever had. I was sat there with a full plate of food: potatoes, stew, veg, and, out of the corner of my eye, I see the chef come in and bring me a whole rare-cooked sliced ribeye, followed by the same but sirloin, then a further portion of potatoes, vegetables, and more. I had eaten double my bodyweight in beef, and felt weighed down, but extremely well satisfied, like some kind of fat general. I couldn’t turn it down - 2 hours before stage time, I’ll be fine.
Stage time came, I put my suit on, but popped one of my trouser buttons due to the steak overload, did my eyeliner and went out there, a packed room with hundreds of people. I had this imposing feeling whilst singing “this is strange all these eyes on me”, watching me! Not a complaint, but if I start to think about it too much, it can make me spin out a little and maybe forget my lines, or want to just do something ridiculous like scream really loudly (a regular thing for John).
The show finished, the remaining 10 CDs were sold, quite unbelievably, and I went to bed feeling extremely whole and grateful for my life, for what’s coming up, and for everything that has already happened.
KRAKOW
I’d had dreams of visiting Poland for years, it was always on my agenda. I met one of my best pals Ollie at the station. We both arrived a day early to see the city a little.
After checking into our hotel we quickly decided on getting some Polish grub in our systems. We shared 24 Polish dumplings and a kind of bread cake stuffed with this beef stew kind of thing. Safe to say it, sedated me, although nowhere near as much as Antwerp. Ollie was fine, he once ate something like 45 chicken wings and didn’t blink an eye. That guy can eat.
The next day we visited a house of illusions, and pottered around the city together. It was one of the most beautiful places I’d ever seen and everyone seemed extremely friendly.
Anyway, the show. How could I have prepared for what became of it. From a frosty start (quite literally), to our two-mile Uber ride to the venue taking 1 hr 20 minutes, we made it with not much time to spare. In Krakow, I sold more CDs, and my music hit people harder than any other show. For some reason, the fans of John at the show seemed to really like my music and were so very loud and supportive during my set and in between songs and afterwards. I had to run downstairs after I played to grab more CDs whilst people waited by the merch desk, as the ones I had on display had all sold.
It’s a strange thing, and I’ve had to learn to take compliments better, not to be too awkward, but I don’t know how I come across (apparently quite well my friends say, as did some fans), but it’s hard when you’re up there by yourself. I guess I don’t take it too seriously. To know my music resonated with such amazing people, there was genuinely a very touching moment for me, all held together by the company of a good friend, needed after a while alone.
Thank you Krakow, what an amazing place you are with incredible people, I could live there.
WARSAW
I had the expectation that nothing could’ve beaten the previous night. Again, Ollie was with me. Warsaw is a totally different city to Krakow: metropolitan, big billboards everywhere, epic, futuristic architecture, and gorgeous nighttime cityscapes. We got to the venue; it was a cool place. I was glad Ollie got to chill and chat with John for a while, which I imagine was really nice for Ollie too. It was a real surreal moment seeing two of my worlds colliding. My best friend and my musical hero!
The doors opened. After an interview with probably the coolest person I’d met in a long time. I smoked a cigarette and she asked me about my life, and how I came to be touring with John, and how I started writing music.
Then, the show began.
All I’ll say is, Poland is 100%, like, one of the coolest places in the world, with THE most humble of music fans,. I was inundated with messages from fans of my music afterwards. I sold so many CDs and had to frantically print more. I was so happy Ollie was there to capture it and hang out.
It’s overwhelming to me, not being the most confident, to have all this praise following shows. I suppose I do really believe in my music though. I’ve always thought if I like it so much surely someone else will. I’m learning to accept the compliments and own them, and once again Poland, I was truly touched and honoured to have spoken with real people who really seemed to love what I’m doing.
Both Ollie and I went to the airport the following day, I left Poland with a warm feeling in my heart. We said our goodbyes, and went on our way; me to Cologne, and Ollie to Sheffield. I was upset to leave really, which has never happened to me before.
COLOGNE
I got to Cologne at about 2pm, tired, with a lack of sleep, and honestly just wanting to crash out. I had no interest in doing anything else. I did wish I made it to that cathedral again. I’ve visited before and it’s a real blinder of a building: gothic, old, epic, and beautiful, one of the best I’d ever seen. I arrived at a Chinese restaurant out of town, apparently my hotel was upstairs.
They unexpectedly informed me about restoration works happening in the hotel. I’m not fussy so I cracked on, got into my (rather rundown) hotel room, and went to sleep. To me, a bed is a bed, even if it’s not all glamorous. I was quickly awoken in a daze by a hard knock on the door, with a lady speaking in Chinese. I opened it and was notified that the pipes would need fixing in a matter of minutes. I was not happy. I got my things together and left. As a plumber started taking pipes apart on the wall, all I could think of was that I just wanted to sleep! Thanks to them for refunding me though.
I found a cosy grandma-style hotel and shut my eyes and drifted off to sleep. When arriving at the venue, I was pretty mesmerised: it was surrounded by a Christmas market, under an operating railway line. A tunnel, the sound was beautiful, and suited John and I very well. The venue was incredible, the show was amazing, and Kika and I celebrated the night with a little tequila.
People in Europe seem to cheer and clap at any given opportunity. Everyone was wholeheartedly themselves, no ego trip from anyone, just genuine music fans who happened to stumble across me, and buy my merchandise, and send me messages, and give me the kindest reviews. All thanks to John.
Sadly, I had a 5-hour FlixBus the day after, so called it a night after my set, and after selling some CDs, I said goodbye to John and Kika (who sold the last of my merchandise without me) and went to sleep to wake up at 4am to catch my bus.
TILBURG
Tilburg was at 013 Poppodium; beautiful city. I met up with a friend Emma, huge shoutout to her and her friends for putting me up for a couple of nights. It was so lovely to see her. The show was brilliant, a slightly more reserved crowd than the others. It was interesting how different people react… it made me feel the show didn’t go down too well until afterwards, as I was swarmed with praise and merch sales after my performance.
One guy made an impact on me, said my music, specifically ‘Requiem’, had really resonated with him lyrically and so on. It was a really nice moment. I’d always been quite fearful of being so open in lyrics, but with my solo project it was the intention. For me writing these songs was a way to cope with what I was going through. To know it echos the same to someone with their circumstances was extremely touching.
After the show Emma and her friend took me for a pint. We found an Irish bar, had a midnight Guinness and some chopped sausage. Notably, a very cool sound engineer at the show too. A beautiful city, I stuck my sticker next to a King Gizzard one, they played the same space a few days before, it’s crazy considering who else has stood on these stages in these cities, now me!
Tilburg was a lovely time, particularly meeting those who my music echoed with and spending time with my friend Emma.
AMSTERDAM
I had a day off in Amsterdam. I got off the train and decided to go and have a smoke in a café. I used to smoke weed all the time, but have been pretty good at cutting down and it had been quite a while since I’d indulged in it, but I was in Amsterdam and I knew it’d be good stuff and I felt safe there.
I lugged my suitcase and backpack to the back of the café, sat there and ordered a ‘pure Cali spliff’ (without realising this was a blunt). I sat in the café for about two hours, smoking slowly and meeting strangers from Mumbai and Romania, to name a few. People came and went. I decided I’d had enough of sitting in the hotboxed café. Feeling good but a little anxious, I left the café.
The only way to describe the next hour of my life is absolute chaos and hell.
I left the café and immediately felt off balance, both physically and mentally. I was blind but could see, and I had no ability of deciphering left or right, forwards or backwards. I had entered a state of what I now think was some form of psychosis. As someone who used to smoke frequently, I knew something was very very wrong.
I was walking into people like some kind of maniac. I remember it all vividly, knocking over bicycles, walking directly through crowds, violently too. Like the busiest shopping street in Amsterdam too! Every time I would stop to catch my breath or try to sit for an hour, people would come up to me shouting and pointing fingers in my face, as I had clearly just barged through them, or knocked them over violently, dragging my suitcase through crowds and butting into them. However, I was totally oblivious to what was going on, and must have looked like a mess, so most people gave up the shouting.
Amsterdam is like loads of ring roads leading into the centre. I was going in circles, completely off my face.
After one spliff?
I thought I potentially had been spiked. I experienced a form of psychosis, an ego death, I couldn’t think or speak properly or move my body in the way I wanted it to move, and I really could’ve collapsed. I tried looking for police officers to help me, but I couldn’t focus enough to find one.
I gripped onto my yellow suitcase and held my backpack tight. These were almost a token of some fraction of sobriety and self control I had left. After trying to find my way to my hotel for an hour, I decided to call an Uber. The problem was, when the cab turned up, I couldn’t figure out what colours were, let alone read a number plate. I saw him on my phone, he had arrived but I couldn’t figure out how to begin locating him, I called him and asked him to beep his horn repeatedly. Like some kind of blind dog, I followed the noise towards my lift to my hotel.
The second surprise of the night was finding out I’d booked myself into a pod hotel, effectively a coffin. They’re great for backpackers, but not for someone touring whilst unexpectedly more high than they’ve ever been in their life. I managed to mutter some words at the front desk, climbed into my ‘capsule’ and was so lucky and grateful to have made it.
I woke up some 3 hours later, my legs cut from walking through bike racks and slamming my suitcase into myself and bumping into strangers. I couldn’t believe what had happened. I called my friends and explained, almost solidifying the fact I was ok. I decided to get up and go and catch Molly Nilsson’s show. It was incredible, as expected, and I was happy to be alive and not in a police cell for being a public nuisance, or disorderly or whatever; though admittedly, I would have wanted the police to pick me up to help me!
When leaving the hotel in the morning I walked past all my destruction (fallen bicycles and whatever), stood them back up and ran back to the airport. What a crazy day that was, and I will never forget what had happened. Well, I don’t know, I was just glad to be ok.
HAMBURG
I arrived in Hamburg a night early. I treated myself to a local pizza and wine. I’ve enjoyed solo-dining, it’s nice.
The next day – the venue was insane, an old WW2 bunker and flight radar watchtower. It was a crazy place. John and Kika seemed happy to see me, which was lovely. We spoke about a lot. Kika showed me some photos of their house and their life in America and some wedding photos – it was a very nice moment, John and I chatted for a while whilst I sat backstage and watched the venue fill up.
Some of these crowds have been ridiculous, this was one of them, so many people. With the venue full of cigarette smoke and all kinds of ages, I took to the stage.
The show was amazing. People were really receptive to my music, including the promoter. I was dead happy. John put on a proper amazing show, given he said he was sick! Sold a load of merchandise and met some wonderful people who have followed me since and no doubt I’ll be seeing again.
Thank you Hamburg.
I headed home and prepared for a sold-out show in Manchester with TTSSFU, and a Sheffield show with Cinder Path. Both of which were incredible.
DUBLIN
I had never been to Dublin. I’d heard such amazing things about the Irish, and boy were they right. What incredible people. A sold-out show at The Button Factory, a crazy venue.
I arrived there, and John and Kika were both saying, “Where were you for the past few shows? We had no idea you weren’t supporting, we’re pissed!”, which was pretty humbling to hear. A few shows I didn’t support at, due to the promoters wanting local acts. I laughed it off and just mentioned how I’d just have been happy with one show on this tour and “not to worry”, though to play the Bataclan would’ve been pretty remarkable. It was quite nice to know they missed me and had wanted me to play the other dates, I suppose.
Anyway, in Dublin, it was rammed: a Saturday night, so many people. My friend Jo and her mate Sean were meeting me there. It’s always a really nice moment seeing a friend when you’re touring alone. Even though I’d been talking to new fans and whatever, the touch of familiarity was a really warm feeling. It was great to see them. The show was wonderful. Merchandise was flying, and I met some great people once again after the show. It’s definitely given me confidence in my music. The amount of people who seem to like it really is a refreshing and exciting, but also a weird feeling for me. After loads of post-show interactions Sean and Jo took me to a bar, underground. We got a Guinness, and I ate some chicken and chips at midnight in the bar, then we parted ways: they went to a silent disco, I went to my hotel and fell asleep fast.
What an amazing time, meeting new Irish fans and hanging out with my friend Jo.
GLASGOW
Òran Mór is probably one of the most beautiful venues I’ve ever played, and may ever play! It’s an old church, so it was fitting for John’s music, and mine. It had a transcendence to it and I, who am not particularly religious, felt totally lifted and breath-taken when on the stage.
It was kind of emotional for me. After all, a lot of my songs are written about someone I was with who ended up moving to Glasgow, so being there made it have a really sad undertone when I landed, and I felt pretty down. This was washed away when my best friend Rob joined me. He drove 5 hours to come to the show. Man, was it good to see him. It totally took any sour taste out of my mouth and it was so lovely to hang out with him, introduce him to John and Kika, and drink Scotch with him. We both had such a good time.
The show was absolutely incredible, I got everyone to cheer for Rob too, another moment of sheer happiness. From landing and feeling low it turned out to be one of my favourites in the end. I sold an absolute mountain of CDs, which I didn’t expect, people were very nice afterwards. Rob helped calm me for the show and get in the ‘zone’, including afterwards; it was a sort of overwhelming one for me. I was so touched by the reception I received, and by the love people reflected back at me on stage. Thank you Glasgow. You’re truly a wonderful place, and the Scottish are some beautiful people. I felt so honoured and lucky that one of my best friends could witness it too.
Rob and I were up at the crack of dawn, he driving to Sheffield, and me onwards to the last show: Berlin.
BERLIN
After a close call in Berlin with flight times, I made it to the venue and soundchecked with 15-minutes until doors opened. I arrived to John and Kika spraying new shirts with a canister of spray paint outside the back doors of the venue, limited edition for the 1000+ tickets sold in Berlin. Helping run the conveyor belt of T-shirts back inside, Kika asked me to pick one and keep it. I made sure to get an A0 poster of the show, as it was probably the biggest one, so I wanted it for my memories. It’s funny, every time I thank John for having me he thanks me straight back. A few times they’ve helped me when things have seemed super expensive and for that I can’t thank them enough for.
It was 20:15. The room was full. I took to the stage. I don’t know if it’s John’s crowd or European crowds in general, but they’re super welcoming and attentive, and dance way more than some shows I’ve played in England.
Perhaps it’s just the matching of us together that means people understand what I’m doing more, it’s the perfect crowd for my music.
I spoke to loads of lovely people after. People recently married who resonated with my music, photographers, fans and friends alike. I was so happy it went well, so honoured to have played this show in front of 2000 eyeballs. The messages I received after the show genuinely made me quite emotional and determined to ever stop.
Thank you Berlin. Love you guys.
In all, this tour has been such a huge moment of my life. I’ve learnt a lot, solo travelling around Europe.
I needed some time in my own company and needed to learn how to travel and be alone better. I’m hungry to go back and write and release new music that I hope people will enjoy, that might take me even further. I’ve loved meeting new people. I found that good people are everywhere. In a world that seems hateful and dark at times, there’s always more light, and people are the same everywhere, no matter where they’re born. I could live comfortably and make acquaintances in every single city I visited. People are good; the odd few are evil, but not the everyday person. It was overwhelming how much people loved my work and the good I saw in people.
I have no words to thank John for taking me along with him; he has been the coolest and chillest person to hang out with, and Kika, John’s wife, for being so cool too. There’s a chance I’ll be going to America next year, John and Kika have mentioned it. The concept of this happening even just a few months ago would have had me laughing at the idea.
A few special mentions to Chris from Upset the Rhythm for helping make this possible.
My friends for pushing me through the past 2 years, and David for helping me with a few tour logistics.
Thanks to Ollie, Rob, Jo, and Emma too.
Overall it was a total pleasure, I feel good to be home, I remained present throughout my trip, as I knew I’d feel the blues when I returned. However, with so many new fans to connect with, and a stronger relationship with John and Kika, I had nothing to be down about, only more determined to carry on writing music and sharing my songs with the world. I’m so happy I’ve managed to take this project even further than I ever thought I could.
More music in the new year.
Huge love to everyone I’ve met along the way - miss it already, and dying to get back out to these countries I’ve a new found love for.
Love you all.
Maximilian
